Which Sexy Superhero are you?
Take this short quiz to find out.
Which animal best describes you?
Which do you fear most?
How much skin do you dare show in public?
Are you the sort of person who reads 50 Shades of Grey and Ariel’s Super Power of Love?
Do you share secrets about your lover with your friends?
What is your biggest strength?
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You’re the ultimate tease. Men drool over you, women are jealous of your seductive hora, and you don’t even realize it.
Your super power is your ability to overcome all obstacles and sinful temptations. Even at a Magic Mike film, you would rather face the audience to make sure everyone is having a good time. Your arch-nemesis the devil, aka Channing Tatum, once met you in a dark alley next to a bank and threatened to bomb the bank unless you let him practice his gyration routine against your hoo-ha. Ignoring your sopping response down there, you flew to the bomb, kissed it, and it melted by your pure, magnificent kiss.
You obtained your super power of ignoring temptation from an overprotective mother who followed you wherever you went with a picture of a kitten. When James Bond was with a woman, your mother distracted you with the picture, and you said, “Aw, pretty kitty!” When your school taught Sex-Ed, your mother drew your attention away with the picture. “Aw, pretty kitty!”
Your super power came with a price. Your constant distraction during childhood made you unpopular with the other girls in the school, so you had no friends growing up.
Similarly, you’re unable to keep a partner. You hang around wicked men so much, all they want to do is seek out heaven under your dress. You never let them, so they move on.
Your weakness is kittens (they’re so cute!). Your nemesis Channing Tatum has figured out your weakness, so whenever he commits a crime, he has the place surrounded by kittens to distract you.
Your happy ending will be when you meet a man who works in an animal shelter. He’ll give you a kitten of your own and he will be eager to help you explore which you like better, your kitten or your other kitten.
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Your super power is your ability to wow men with your alluring dancing. You can set your hips to stun. With such an alluring skill of dancing, you might as well be saying to the villains, “Hey, there. Stop your criminal activity and check this out.” To which they always respond, “Gladly!” The villains feel very patriotic, and they stop and watch as the police cuff them. Your dancing also heals the sick. For one blind citizen, all he had to do was place his hands on your hips and once you finished your dance, his eyes (and jaw) were wide open. He got to benefit from the pleasure of sight.
You obtained your superpower by finding a snow globe in a closed down nuclear reactor. The Hawaiian snow globe didn’t have snow, it had flowers, and inside was a hula girl that was supposed to wiggle its hips when you shook it. This one, however, didn’t shake, but the more you tried to get the girl to wiggle her hips, the more you noticed your own hips wiggling. The power of the globe transported into your body.
Your superpower came with a price. Every time you go out dancing on a date, the men are seduced and want to sleep with you right away. It becomes impossible to know if a man likes you for who you are or for your dancing.
Your weakness is the ballet. You swoon at the site of professional dancers on the stage. Actually, all forms of dancing please you. If you could, you’d spend all day watching reruns of “So You Think You Can Dance.” Thank goodness there’s not a single criminal out there who can dance. If a criminal started dancing at the crime scene, that could seriously blunder your attempt to save the day.
Your happily ever after will come when you meet the current equivalent of Baryshnikov, the best male dancer in the world. When you work your belly dancing skills, he’s plenty seduced, but it doesn’t matter. He says, “That’s mighty sexy! Now look at what I can do.” He then does leaps and twirls that make you want to sleep with him.
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You’re a mild-mannered secretary who walks unnoticed by men until you don your superhero outfit. With those cat ears and whiskers, men immediately desire to rub your chest and enjoy that tail.
Your super power is your ability to hypnotize men into doing your every command. Even gay men go gaga over you in your cat suit. One time, you faced a dictator and told him to turn his country into a democracy. He nodded eagerly, staring at your bosom, and asked, “Then can I pet your kitty?”
You obtained your super power from going to a play and sneaking backstage to tell the leading lady how great her performance was. You found yourself alone among the costumes and tried on the caped cat suit. The director of the play stepped in and shouted at you, “What are you doing back here?” When you faced him, he said sweetly, “Have you ever considered going into acting? I can make you the leading lady.”
Your super power came with a price. The man of your dreams, your boss Jonathan Chaps, has caught a glimpse of the Caped Pussy Cat and claims he’s in love, but has no idea you’re that superhero. On the rare occasion you have lunch with him, it seems the Caped Pussy Cat is all he talks about. Revealing your secret identity could put him in danger from the crime lords who will kill to know your identity.
Your weakness is dogs. Anything having to do with dogs prickles your nerves and you temporarily lose your confidence, along with your superpower. This includes the sounds of dogs barking, Benji films, dog charms, Snoopy, your neighbor’s dog, doggystyle, posters of dogs, and even Goofy who looks like a dog but isn’t a dog because Pluto’s the dog so Goofy can’t be a dog.
Your happy ending will come when Jonathan Chaps falls into a vat of radiated dog food and becomes a shape-shifting dog. The two of you then fight crime together and if you are confronted by a dog, he steps in, changes into a dog, and protects you. There is no more danger in him knowing your true identity.
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Your superpower is your magic ability to transform objects into other objects. What used to be a bizarre curse of bad luck for you is now a blessing. That curse is how you often find yourself at crimes. Ever since you were a girl, you happened to be at jewelry thefts, bank heists, liquor store robberies, carjacking spots, and drug deals. Now that you have your superpower, you thwart their crimes. At robberies and bank heists, you turn their guns into pastrami sandwiches. At carjackings, you turn their tools into dildos. At drug deals, you turn the drugs into play-dough. The arresting police officers are amused at the criminals’ explanations of what happened.
You obtained your super power by meeting a certain magician. You grew up loving magic, watching the magicians perform their tricks. Your mother encouraged you to be a beautiful magician’s assistant, but that was never what you wanted. You always wanted to be the magician. Then, when you were nineteen years old, you wandered into a theater where a handsome magician was on the stage practicing his electrical tricks. When he spotted you, he asked you to play the part of the volunteer from the crowd. You went along with it. On stage, he asked you what you wanted in life. You said you wanted the ability to transmogrify objects.
He said, “Very well,” and led you to an full-body sized X on the stage.
He strapped your wrists and ankles to the four legs of the X. He placed a cane in your right hand and a top hat on your head.
“Is this necessary?” You asked.
“It is,” he said. He was too handsome to argue with.
He faced you, put his hands on your waist, and peered into your eyes as he chanted some strange words. You felt a surge of energy flow from his hands, tingle across your skin, and make your intimate parts swell.
“Do it,” he said. “Transform the wrist and ankle cuffs into water. Escape from your bonds.”
After three minutes of doubt and seven minutes of not wanting to leave, you found the power and the leather straps dripped away becoming puddles on the floor of the stage.
He smiled. “Let me get a towel.” He went off stage but never returned.
Your superpower came with a price. You’re unable to transform objects without the top hat and cane, so you wander the streets in your magician costume striking amusement in the hearts of everyone you pass. Not exactly the best way to meet men interested in a serious relationship.
Your weakness is electricity. You can only transform mechanical objects, not electrical ones. On occasion, the criminal carries a taser which cannot be transformed. If you try to stop him, he’ll just tase you. You’ve been tased three times, each time disabling you, but also giving you more and more pleasure than you’d care to admit.
Your happily ever after will come when, at the grocery store, you run into the magician who gave you the superpower. You said he owes you the opportunity to lock his wrists and ankles up to an X. He agrees to the date, and in a romantic evening of going to a restaurant where you turn the water into champagne, and the rolls into steaks, he takes you to his bedroom where he performs his tricks of directing electricity into all your favorite spots.
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Your super power is your incredible strength and impenetrable skin. Though not graceful, you are able to throw coins at the speed of bullets, and when villains try to hurt you with their guns, the bullets that hit you tickle and make you chuckle.
Your day involves stamping into banks in the middle of armed robberies, getting tickled by their bullets, then knocking the villains unconscious letting the police cuff them and lock them up. Your evenings involve hanging out at different bars, scoping out a man if you have an itch that needs scratching, then when you spot a fitting specimen, you approach him, drag him outside, and make him fulfill your needs in your fur-covered van. The men never protest; you’re too beautiful to resist. Besides, you apply a couple of well placed strokes and they lose all ability to reason.
You obtained your superpower exploring the Caves of Yarut. Inside, a forgotten line of saber-toothed tigers stalked the shadows. Approaching too close to a cub, you were attacked by the mother, her bite infecting you with the growth of super-dense muscles, the strength of a hundred warriors.
Your superpower came with a price. Intimacy. Every man you have ever loved has left you. You can no longer take that kind of pain, so you no longer seek it. The loneliness has made your life into one of numbness.
Your weakness is the jewel thief Cobalt. Ever since you met him in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, holding him in your arms so he wouldn’t escape, he did something unexpected. He held you in return, and kissed you. He whispered that as long as he could continue as a Jewel thief, it would please him because then he knew he could see you more often at the crime scenes. That, and his beautiful cobalt-blue eyes did you in. You let him go and like all other of his crime scenes, you love to see him, the two of you share a moment, then you let him go.
Your happily ever after will come when Cobalt realizes love is better than money, and he returns all the stolen jewels and gives up his life of crime to be with you.
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Your superpower is your ability to track down wicked men to their hiding places by their scent. You often spend your time on a women-only ship, plundering pirates of their booty by seducing them with your own booty into plundering you. No pirate can resist you, getting their gold is easy. Once on shore, after spending most of your time with women, the scent of man is strong. Many wronged women come to you for help, providing you with their man’s pillow cover or shirt for you to take in their scent. You use the cruel man’s scent to track the man down and often use your swashbuckling skills to cut the man down to size.
You obtained your superpower by being kidnapped by pirates. They put you in the hold to save you for a ransom. You were never disturbed because it was forbidden for the men to come to you; contact with women was considered bad luck. In the darkness for so long, your other senses became more sensitive, especially your sense of smell. The only visitor you had was the captain who came to feed you. He seemed kind when he wasn’t around his men, and he had a raw scent that drove you wild. In the darkness, you used a stick to practice sword fighting, and when a crew member came to fetch you for the ransom exchange, you punched him in the gut, took his sword, and fought your way off the ship that was docked. The authorities were too late to stop the pirates, they made their escape on the sea.
Your superpower came with a price. When inside small spaces, you panic and cannot think logically. Being inside that cell for so long broke your spirit and any reminder of that experience makes you want to huddle in a fetal position. It’s for that reason you can never take elevators.
Your weakness is men in pirate’s clothing. They remind you so much of the captain that had been so good to you during captivity. It’s why you seduce the pirates instead of fighting them.
Your happily ever after will come when you stumble upon the captain and he seduces you into sharing a ship together and conquering the seven seas hand in hand, sword in sword.
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Your superpower is your ability to bewitch villains into returning stolen goods and turning themselves in. The only trouble is, your bewitching process requires you to burn the villain’s shirt or pants in the woods, and dance naked in the moonlight reciting the incantation. As a result, you often need to seduce your way into their homes or out of their clothes to get what you need.
You obtained your superpower when camping with girlfriends. You had been dumped by your boyfriend and so this gathering was their way of cheering you up. He left a box of his clothes with you and before he could get a chance to pick them up, your girlfriends convinced you to burn the stack instead. In the woods, you and your girlfriends set the clothes on fire dancing naked together. Then, mid-dance, you got struck by lightning. At first you thought it was nothing. You woke up in the cabin bed and your girlfriends looked worried sick huddled around you, but soon you convinced them you felt fine, just a small headache. But when you returned home, you read the news of how your ex-boyfriend confessed to killing a mayor and turned himself in. Sometimes, you just don’t know people. Anyhow, it took some time going on more camping trips with your girlfriends, burning the clothes of your girlfriends’ ex-boyfriends, and hearing reports of the boyfriends returning “borrowed” equipment like drills and lawn mowers before you realized you were the cause of it all.
Your superpower came with a price. Seven times you’ve been caught dancing naked in the woods and have been fined for public lewd activity. Those citations are quite the pretty penny.
Your weakness is leather. Whenever you burn clothes made of leather, the heady scent fills your lungs and finds its way to your core making you writhe with the need to find release. Seven times you have been caught by the horse-riding park ranger, and of those seven times, twice you were burning leather and flung yourself at him to find desperate release. Both times he was shocked but happy to oblige. He was a real trooper.
Your happily ever after will come when the park ranger shows you his hobby of leathercrafting. Living with him becomes a life of ecstasy and naked dancing together.
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Your superpower is your ability to throw fireballs at villains making them aroused beyond self-control. You ride in your red Ferrari listening to the police channel and rush to the crime scene. Man holding a woman hostage at gunpoint? You throw a fireball and he drops the gun and starts dry-humping the hostage. A female jewel thief? You throw a fireball at her and she plunges a hand down her skintight pants to take care of her sudden urges. You love your job.
You obtained your superpower enjoying the rain in the city park. You remembered kissing your high school crush in the rain, his arms holding you tight, his chest pressed against your own. As you relished his memory, the raindrops made your yellow sundress cling to your chest and stirred your inner desire. You had a metal dildo on hand and as you reached climax, the toy acted as a lightning rod, lightning struck, and your arousal formed into electrical charge.
You first discovered your superpower when you walked around a carpeted museum with your friend. The carpet charged you and when you reached for your friend’s arm to show her something, a spark flew to her arm and she fell to the floor clutching between her legs. You thought she was playing a joke at first, but when the two of you were kicked out of the museum for her lewd display of self-gratification, you realized the spark inside you was the culprit. In your home, you managed to build charge between your hands into a ball of electricity. Not sure what to do with it, you let go of it, it hit the mirror, bounced back at you, and you spent the rest of the evening satisfying yourself with release after release. Though not technically made of fire, you called your creations fireballs since electricity balls sounded weird.
Your superpower came with a price. Whenever there’s a nearby spark or short circuit, you feel it in your core. In cars, the spark plugs cause a tingling inside of you, but whenever there’s a black out from a short circuit, your need for relief is overwhelming. Though not a problem at home, it has happened at a party and you could not stop yourself from reaching under your dress. Thank goodness the lights were out and no one could see what you were doing.
Your weakness is water. Electricity gets out of control in it. If you’re chasing a villain in the pouring rain, getting the fireball started tends to backfire and you feel the electricity on yourself.
Your happily ever after will come when your high school crush returns to you. Since he now has ED, he sees your skills in treating him as a blessing, not a curse.
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Your super power is your ability to seduce anyone into doing anything that will make them release a special pheromone combination of ecstasy and fear. You thrive on the cocktail, and the more you have of it, the stronger you become.
The mayor of the city calls on you to stop the super criminals. You do so with ease, sometimes convincing the villain to perform a strip tease at the bank they’re robbing, sometimes making the villain strip yourself while you hold a poisoned fingernail to their neck.
You obtained your superpower by sneaking into a rated X film when you were a kid. A rip in the spacetime continuum pulled the actors out of the film and into reality, horrifying the spectators in mid-orgasm. When you gasped at surprise, you inhaled four-dimensional particles that encapsulated their fear and ecstasy, your first taste of the pheromone cocktail.
Your superpower came with a price. When you were sixteen at prom, your date, the cutest guy in school, came on a little strong in the car. He kissed you, you kissed back, he wouldn’t end his kiss and reached for your shirt, you held his face and sucked in his ecstasy which turned into fear, the pheromones filling you. You never told the authorities that you were the cause of him turning into a babbling idiot. Today, you’re in love with the mayor, and he loves you. But any moments of bedroom intimacy could lead to the mayor losing a piece of his soul and, ultimately, his skills of reasoning and mental acuity. He would no longer be an effective mayor.
Your weakness is male strippers. They excite you in ways that burn the pheromone cocktail coursing through your body, and you become weak. Thank goodness all the other gals around you feel the same way, you blend right in. Unfortunately, your nemesis, a jewel thief, is a professional male stripper by day, so whenever you try to stop him by making him strip, his confidence remains solid and you find yourself losing power over him. He always walks away with both sets of jewels, the ones in his backpack, and the ones in his skivvies.
Your happily ever after will come when the mayor works out at the gym, becomes buff, and learns how to do a professional strip tease. Your super powers will have no affect on him and the two of you will tease each other before every night of intimacy.
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